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Living in fear……of being disappointed again

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Mar 03, 2021

Living in fear……of being disappointed again

At the age of 23, Puspa’s dreams of marrying a partner who would share her happiness and sorrow was fulfilled. The marriage promised her joy and happiness but it does not last long as her husband and his family started abusing her. All her dreams shattered when she realized that her husband is having an affair. Desperate to save her marriage, she tried to talk to her husband. However, nothing seemed to change the husband’s mind – including the news that Puspa is 2 months pregnant. Things became worse at home. Frequent quarrels between Puspa and her husband would usually ends with Puspha becoming victim of physical violence.
One day, her husband told her to leave the house. With reluctance and lack of choice, she had to step out her husband’s house and return to her parents’ place. A few weeks later, she had a miscarriage. Her pain was unbearable. She had no communication with her husband. At some point, she realized that she has to do something for herself. She started working for her brother who runs a book store and sundry shop. Then, all her hopes to join her husband again crumbled when she received a legal notice for divorce. Full of sorrow, she agreed.

Wanting to imporove herself, Puspa took up bakery course. She started bakery business and continued working with her brother. All of sudden, after 12 years there were talks again on her marriage. She was very reluctant to proceed due to the previous experience. However, her family managed to persuade her to consider getting herself a life partner again.  After much consideration, Puspa agreed to marry the guy of her brother’s choice.

Puspa was introduced to Ravi by her brother. They began to like each other but Ravi’s family was not happy with Puspa as she was a divorcee. Ravi was adamant to get married with Puspa. Ravi comes from a joint family, where the family depends on his income.  Ravi runs a hawker stall, where his sisters help him at the stall. Ravi went against his family and decided to marry Puspa.

Once again, Puspha built hopes on her marriage. There were some hiccups during the marriage which Puspa thought would be just temporary. Problems started between Puspa and Ravi’s sister from the 2nd week of marriage itself. Day by day the situation intensified. None of her husband’s family members were in favor of Puspa. During the second month of marriage, her mother-in-law became very ill due to diabetic. No one who wanted to take care and nurse the mother-in-laws wound. Puspa ended up caring for her. In this period, she managed to win the heart of her mother-in-law. Their relationship improved. From then, whenever any argument arises between Puspa and Ravi’s sisters, her mother-in-laws would speak on behalf of Puspa.

Day by day the situation was worsening; there were also financial problem in the house. Ravi was not able to manage the finance at home. These caused Ravi to borrow money from a money lender without Puspa’s knowledge. Puspa knew this when the money lender send someone to collect the debts from the house. Apart from this, Ravi also failed to pay the utility bills and the housing loan repayment. When Puspa expressed her desire to work in order to decrease her husband’s burden, her sister-in-aw accused her having affair with someone and that she wants to go to work to meet the guy.

One day, a heated argument between Ravi’sister and Puspa occurred. Ravi was not at home. The situation at home become out of control.  When Ravi came back, the sister complained about Puspa. Before Puspa could speak, Ravi slapped her. Ravi’s mother tried to inferred and resolve the problem, but no one wanted to listen to her. Finally Ravi decided to send Puspa back to her brother’s house till he resolves the issues at home.

Now, it has been 1 month since Puspa came back to her brother’s house. Her husband has been calling her weekly once. In the last call he made, he told Puspa to come back and tolerate his sisters as that is the only way they can live together.

Puspa was confused and undecided. She wants to safe her marriage but she knows she can’t live together with her sister-in-laws under the same roof. She came to DHRRA Malaysia seeking guidance. At DHRRA, she was given suggestion on what she can do and continue living under the same roof.

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